Retail Tales

Things your retailer isn't going to tell you, but probably would like to:

1) - Just because I sell this stuff doesn't mean I can afford it.

2) - Prices may go down, but costs never do.

3) - If you come into my store talking on a cell phone I will likely ignore you.

4) - You are not the center of my universe.

5) - 10 minutes before closing time, my feet hurt, I'm tired, hungry, and eager to go home. If you want to buy something; do it, otherwise please leave.

6) - What's a "Holiday"? What's a "Weekend"?

7) - I may ask "How are you?", it doesn't mean I really want to know your life story.

8) - If the first words out of your mouth are "Show me something cheap!", I will most likely direct you to the nearest mirror.

9) - If you're going to tell me that you're friends with my employer and ask for a better price from him, tell me that before I spend an hour selling you on the product.

10) - I had as much to do with creating the U.S. trade deficit as I did with causing the sun to rise this morning. If you have a problem with all of my products being made in China, take it up with the guy who you voted into office, not with me.